when i find stretch marks on my thighs i make a point of smooching them because they’re just doing their best at keeping the all-powerful immortal Being within me from ripping my mortal shell asunder in a blaze of heavenly glory and eviscerating the cosmos in my divine wrath
You know what? You just changed an aspect of myself I’ve hated since ballet class in sixth grade. Thank you!
Two scientists walk into a bar:
"I’ll have an H2O."
"I’ll have an H2O, too."
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.
Reblogging for the lingua-lulz.